2 Complicated
by VikiBUG
Summary: This is the second of one hundred drabbles from my fanfiction challenge. How exactly does Olivia's secret come out?  Rated T as it discusses a sensitive issue  R&R


_This is the second piece I have written as part of a fan fiction challenge. The heading for this piece was 'complicated'. Each piece will provide an insight into Alex and Olivia's relationship. If any aspects of their personality seem to be out of character it's because I feel they would act differently with each other. Hope you enjoy this piece. Feel free to let me know what you think and leave any criticism (: _

Olivia paced the delicate red carpet of Alex's office, counting her steps and trying to control her breathing. Was Alex completely incompetent, could she not see that the evidence was pointing to their prime suspect? Did she not understand that another innocent could be harmed because she refused to issue a simple warrant? Of course Olivia knew it wasn't entirely Alex's fault. The evidence itself was open to much conjecture, she knew this. She also knew that perhaps she was too involved in this case on a personal level. However, at this particular moment in time it was easy to quash such rational thoughts and focus her anger, no her pain on the ADA. In the two months that they had been working together the two had become close not just as colleagues but as friends, and Olivia was taking this refusal as a personal attack on their friendship.

"Alex, can you please just issue the warrant and let me do my job" Olivia requested, trying to keep her cool. Although the counting and breathing allowed her to keep the volume out of her voice the request still contained the intensity of Olivia's rage.

"You know I want to, but the evidence doesn't prove anything Olivia. There's no forensic proof he was at the scene of the crime, the victim refuses to acknowledge Dobbs as her attacker. We might both know that he committed the rape but it merely isn't enough to convince a grand jury." Alex sighed, pushing her glasses further up her nose. They had been over this a thousand times in the last hour. There was nothing Alex could do her hands were tied. Something wasn't quite right though, this she knew for a fact. Olivia seemed to be taking every rejection personally, she knew how the game worked, and if she wanted a warrant she needed solid evidence. This meant it had to be personal but what was different about this case was something Alex couldn't put her finger on.

"Alex, please. I need you to do this, for me." Olivia requested her anger dispersing, her tone pleading.

"Olivia. I can't. No matter how much on a personal level I want to issue you this warrant, it's not within my control. If you want a warrant you need to find more evidence." This time Alex couldn't meet Olivia's eyes. She felt like she was betraying the woman she had become so close to. Not just her friend, but someone she loved. Olivia sighed, finally sitting on Alex's sofa head in hands. That was the problem. There was no more evidence, the victim wouldn't talk, forensics turned up no finger prints, and the rape kit provided no DNA. What was left? What stone remained unturned? Of course it wasn't the difficulties of evidence that was the problem, it was the fact the victim was her mother 35 years ago, and Olivia knew just how that victim would end up.

"Listen, Olivia. Why is this one so different? What's going on?" Alex asked gently sitting next to her friend.

"I can't talk about it. I wish I could, but it's complicated." Olivia hoped her short answer would prevent any more questions arising. She didn't like talking about her past, but she knew if Alex pushed hard enough everything would be revealed. Her secret; and their friendship would be changed forever.

"Olivia. This is affecting you more than any other case. I need to know what's going on. Whatever it is you're not telling me is clouding your judgement. If we eventually get enough evidence to prosecute I need to know it was done lawfully." Alex pressed on.

"Ms Cabot I would never do anything to undermine a case, and I cannot believe you would imply as such. Whatever it is I may or may not be telling you is personal. Last time I checked the personal life of an investigating officer never has to be discussed in a trial. Am I or am I not correct?" Olivia stated moving away from Alex but remaining seated.

"Olivia, you know I didn't mean anything by it. I'm asking you as a friend. I can't help if I don't know the problem" it was Alex's turn to plead.

"It's the victim. The victim that won't talk. I know how she is going to end up, she'll keep the baby. The baby she doesn't want. The baby she doesn't love. She'll drink herself stupid. She'll invite numerous men round for 'game nights'. She'll drag that kid from pillar to post, what kind of an upbringing is that Alex? Answer me that?" replied Olivia wringing her hands together.

"Listen Liv, you don't know that for sure. Anything could happen." Alex replied, placing a gentle hand on Olivia's knee, ignoring the sparks that flew between them.

"I do Alex, I am that kid" Olivia's voice was barely audible as she finished her admission. Alex stayed silent waiting for Olivia to continue, knowing when saying nothing was the best form of comfort she could offer her friend.

"My mother was raped when she was 18. I'm the product of that rape, the one she couldn't bear to look at, the one she should never have kept. The only reason she kept me was to get back at her own parents. She never filed a complaint about the rape, she didn't want the hassle, and she didn't want the pity or the shame. I don't really remember her ever being sober. I remember the men, god there were so many men. Every week a different man, sneaking out in the early hours of the morning, leaving money on the kitchen table. It all seems so normal to a five year old. Then you start school and realise you don't even know what normal is. From the age of 12 my days were spent putting my mother to bed and taking myself off to school. She never asked for help, she never had a job, the child support was enough for a bottle of vodka. I always said I would get away as soon as I could, that I'd leave and never look back, and that I would spend my life catching people that commit rapes, helping the victims so they don't end up like her. It turns out I didn't need to runaway in the end. My eighteenth birthday Alex, my eighteenth birthday and I come home from a night out with my friends to find my mother on the kitchen floor, on her knees, bottle of vodka tucked under arm, head in the oven. It was over. No more men to come knocking, no more beatings because every time she looked at me she saw him, no more verbal battles as I tried to pry the bottle from her hands. Silence. So yes, maybe I am too involved in this case, maybe it is personal. All I know is I cannot sit back and let this happen again; I cannot let him get away with committing this crime. I cannot let this act destroy the life of two innocent people. I might be alive on the outside Lex, but inside I'm a mess." There it was, Olivia had said too much. Her secret was no longer a secret, and she would probably get thrown off the case.

"Oh Liv" was all Alex could say, tears in her eyes as she imagined the horrors that Olivia must have witnessed as a child. How could anyone not want her. She was beautiful, passionate, intelligent and loyal. Alex now understood why she had never spoken about her past in previous conversations. It was in this moment Alex vowed to never let Olivia be hurt again, to protect her from harm.

"Listen Alex, I should get back to the precinct there's got to be something I've overlooked somewhere, something that can get me this warrant. I'm sorry I dumped all that on you, I shouldn't have said anything. Like I said earlier it's.." Olivia trailed off not quite knowing how to finish her sentence.

"Complicated." Alex finished, understanding in her voice. With that Olivia headed back to work, knowing the conversation wasn't over, but that enough had been said for one day. The relief oozing out of her pores as she headed out into the midday sun. Alex knew her secret and didn't think she was some kind of disgusting parasite. Not only did she still accept Olivia as a human being, but she cared. Olivia knew something in their relationship had changed, but it had changed for the better. She had been freed.

_Hope you en_joyed, let me know what you think. Instalment 3 of my challenge available soon.


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